Adolescence - a response

Written by Sarah Bennett - Youth Leader at Gordano Valley Church

It's unusual for me to give tv recommendations… but having just watched 'Adolescence' on Netflix I feel compelled to share about it and (cautiously) recommend it.  

The harrowing 4-part series plots a family's world turned upside down when 13-year-old Jamie is arrested for murdering a schoolmate, Katie.  The charges against their son force them to confront every parent's worst nightmare.  The show has broken box office records since its release earlier in March and has even been discussed in Prime Ministers question time.  On one level, it's about knife crime. Over the past decade, the number of UK teenagers killed with a blade or sharp object has risen by 240%. On a cultural level, it's about cyberbullying, the malign influence of social media and the unfathomable pressures faced by boys in Britain today. Male rage, toxic masculinity, online misogyny.  It's shocking, harrowing, compulsive viewing. 

The writers were inspired by two recent cases in the UK involving young teenage boys who violently killed girls, as well as similar tragedies in the US.  They wanted to explore what motivated such terrible crimes, shining a light on an aspect of culture that many of us will be only vaguely aware of.  Jamie, the protagonist is a bright, intelligent boy, hiding a deep insecurity and fear that he is not liked.  He identifies with the 'incel' movement, a growing subculture of disaffected males. Short for "involuntary celibates", incel communities believe they are entitled to sex, but because they feel unattractive or unpopular, because they haven't had sex recently or at all, they feel a bitterness or hatred towards women for not choosing them.  Collectively known as "the manosphere", young people are being radicalised by a range of misogynistic communities that vary from antifeminism to explicit, violent rhetoric, endorsing rape and murder towards women.

'The incel community is seductive; it offers misguided young men solace in feeling like the problems they face in life aren't their fault.  Instead, it takes the justifiable anger about the socio-economic climate and other issues in the world around them and channels it... on women and girls.' (1)

Most worrying as a parent, Adolescence demonstrates how an outwardly normal, but inwardly susceptible young person could be radicalised without anyone noticing.  'His parents recall Jamie coming home from school, heading straight upstairs, slamming his bedroom door and spending hours at his computer. They thought he was safe. They thought they were doing the right thing. It's a scenario which will ring bells with many parents….' Writes The Guardian, adding; 'There is often a glaring gap between parents' blissfully ignorant image of their children's lives and the truth of what they get up to online' (2).  The show reveals how Emoji's are used to convey secret messages and how bullying occurs through superficially pleasant posts and likes on his social media.  Merseyside Police have been so struck by this episode that they have shared a 'Cheat sheet' on popular emojis with local schools, so that parents can identify worrying messages, which I've included below for you.

'At the centre of the show's broken heart is a devastating truth: the most dangerous place in the world for a teenager is alone in their bedroom' (3).  Generation Z is more divided and polarised than ever before, with a staggering 57% of young boys surveyed recently saying that society had "gone too far in promoting women's equality and that we are discriminating against men" (4 Survey of 24,000 young people).  Young people are hurting and broken and turning to online forums for answers.  As church, we have a unique opportunity to model intergenerational connection, and good healthy relationships between men and women, and to deeply value our young people.  We don't always get it right, but stories like this should encourage us to double our efforts.  In John 10:10 Jesus says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."  Jesus offered a radically different perspective on belonging: we are all parts of one body, all necessary and important, functioning best when we value and recognise each other.  We can celebrate that our worth isn't based on getting a girlfriend, being popular, or having sexual fulfilment, but on our position as a child of God, made in His image, designed for life and connection within his loving church family.  That seems a distant reality for many. 

As a parent, this series is devasting.  As a church leader and youth worker, it feels like a wake-up call.  We all have a role to play in supporting families, protecting and connecting with young people and building an alternative reality where hope, not despair reigns.  Are we doing enough?

Want some practical ideas of what you can do next?

  • Handy tips like limiting screen time, keeping screens in family spaces not bedrooms, keeping communication channels open. Find out more here.

  • Join a growing number of parents and professionals calling for greater regulation around smartphones, school and social media, see www.smartphonefreechildhood

  • A beautiful scene shows two investigating police officers comparing their school experiences.  They reflect that it takes just one person to believe in you to change your future.  Perhaps we can all think of one such person in our lives?  Fuller Youth Institute identifies the power of personal connection in church and how influential it can be in a young person's life and faith journey.  Simple things, like saying hello to young people, knowing their names and interests, celebrating achievements, make a huge difference. 

  • Pray for society, especially our schools and teachers, who are under so much pressure, with diminishing resources.  Pray for young people who may be drawn into extremism.

  • Amit Kalley, former head teacher, has created a 'Periodic table of sinister emoji's' that has been shared by Merseyside Police.
    https://uk.style.yahoo.com/parents-secret-emoji-meaning-adolescence-netflix-children-152155057.html

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